Options, Lack Of
It has happened. The inevitable is upon me and it has come a bit sooner than I expected. This island has a very tangible pull to it and one of the things that makes it so unique is that you will not find one foreigner living here, literally not a single one, that came to this place with the intention of staying. The lifestyle is simply too attractive for some people to pass up, myself included. I hunkered down, got a little too comfortable and stopped watching my account balance as closely as I usually do. I had an imaginary “caution-line” drawn that once my funds dipped below I was to start making contingency plans should I not be able to continue my traveling. They have dipped. My situation is far from dire; I still have enough money to get me through the next couple of months, finish my dive master certification and then some, but unless I find actual “gainful” employment soon after that is finished then I’m afraid I’ll have to make a difficult choice. There are two options that I can see:
A: After two months time I press on with my travels and bank on finding solid work in Oz or NZ. This one is particularly risky because my funds will already be tight and if that work never comes about or isn’t enough to let me save money I could end up in a bad situation that lands me back in the states without much left. Although, if the work does pan out that means I could continue on with this wonderful little world wandering thing I’ve got going.
B: After two months time I cut my losses and return to the states with enough cash to keep me floating until I find a job and start saving for the next trip. I have to admit that a part of me sees going back to the states as a sort of failure. I was hoping I could keep extending this trip for some time and if I had been a little wiser with my money it certainly could’ve been a bit longer, but a full year isn’t bad. I do really miss my family and friends and I wouldn’t mind doing the “normal” thing for a little while as long as I can find a job that isn’t too awful.
So far option B has the edge, but obviously nothing is set in stone at this point. I still have a couple of months to feel out where things are heading. But, for the first time in a long time I can actually see an end to this trip on the horizon and my mind seems to be having trouble accepting that. I think my new goal is to find a way to perpetuate these travels long enough to stop calling them “trips” and start calling them “life” because this is most certainly a large part of who I am now. Also on a slightly related note, I believe I have found the official title of my dream job (something I never really bothered to pin down until recently): Professional Travel Photographer. So obvious it hurts. While its nice to actually have the name of what I aspire to, its somewhat depressing for reasons I will discuss in the next post.
For now, what can I do other than keep moving forward. While there is some uncertainty in my path I take comfort in knowing that I’ll make the best of whatever happens and no matter what that is I won’t be off the road for long.
-Tyler
Delivered
Every year around this time for me comes a certain trifecta of holidays. Starting with Mother’s Day in May followed later that month by my father’s birthday and capped off with Father’s Day this month. It is with this in mind that I find now a fitting time to address a few thoughts and realizations I’ve had recently.
It is with a sober and humbled heart that I dedicate the following to my mother and father:
The transition from child to adult is a gradual one. There is no single day where you awake and suddenly feel grown up and responsible; ready to make your way in this harsh new realm. I do suspect, though, that there comes a point in every person’s life when they fully comprehend the final product of their childhood lost. For it is only when you can stand outside of your youth that you begin to understand it fully.
I remember my childhood with an overwhelming fondness and looking back at it I think its safe to say that mine was quite adventurous compared to most. Taking a glance at the amount of things I was exposed to from birth to around age 12 I find it glaringly obvious what has shaped my adventurous nature. There was swimming, scuba diving, hiking, camping, rollerblading, skiing, snowboarding, climbing, whitewater rafting, dirtbikes, and two international trips by the time I was 8. This list will sound familiar to my father because they were mostly all his own endeavors and I was just lucky enough to tag (or be dragged) along. As the story so often goes, I didn’t appreciate them so much at the time and my younger self had a bad habit of writing these things off as a sort of “perpetual mid-life crisis.” Now, I can’t look back with anything but gratitude. After all, who would I be without these undertakings and my mother’s unending well of love and support for us all.
Where would I be had I not been introduced to these things and the inherent danger they contain at such an early age? I certainly wouldn’t be out here bordering on a dive master certification. I don’t think I would be out here period. I think all of you reading this know how highly I speak of the past 10 months of my traveling. I have learned, seen and experienced more than you could ever place a dollar value on and I would not be seeing the world as I am now without this expeditionary disposition that my parents instilled in me, knowingly or otherwise. It is a rare parent indeed who would not only approve, but encourage their son to throw on a backpack and head out into places unknown. To suppress that natural instinct to protect your children and support them as they stride off alone into the world; to know that it is the right thing to do, I believe takes more strength than I’ve ever known. Today I appreciate their efforts on a new level and for the first time in my life I think I now truly understand that my mother and father not only delivered me into this world, they turned around and delivered this world to me.
And for that… I haven’t the words.
Thank you Mom and Dad, for your endless support of all that I do. It means everything to me.
I love you.
-Tyler