There is a War going on

For one year and one month I lived a life of absolute freedom.  Freedom to live on my own terms however I saw fit.  Freedom from worry and responsibility, but most importantly free from fear itself.  I traveled far and dove to great depths learning along the way how far my own mental limits could be pushed.  When I learned that I was going to be returning to the States I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to readjust to “normalcy”, but the longer I stay here the more I come to realize just how absurd it is to call this “normal.”

This time I return to gas shortage, economic crisis, government bailouts of private companies with taxpayer dollars and presidential race that is the stuff of Saturday morning cartoons.  Much like a construction project, most people here see a progression so gradual that it is almost unnoticeable.  They ask “How did it come to this?”  I was born and raised in the United States, but I haven’t lived here for more than 1 or 2 months at a time since 2002.  I come back briefly every year from wherever I happen to be and have found things in an ever-worsening state each time.  Just as I suddenly see buildings where none used to be, I see sudden jumps in the state of degradation that our system currently propagates.  Idly by, we sit.

Recently in Bangkok the people had a problem with their prime minister’s corruption.  They took to the streets by the thousands, young and old, and they surrounded the capitol building.  They closed the airport in Phuket and they shut down train travel within the country in protest.  They took action and relatively mild action, given the region.  Yet here, where your utterly corrupt government walks all over you, smiling and lining their pockets and their friends’ pockets with your money all the while, you do nothing.  You complain in passing conversation before going home to sit in front of your television, mesmerized by the sensationalist media and empty promises that our next president will fix things.  McCain is a horrifying joke of a candidate, but likewise if you truly believe Obama can change things within a system so far gone then I believe your naivety is boundless.  May I remind you that two parties is just one more than a Dictatorship.  Normal, you say.

This media has you distracted, striving for an impossible goal.  Groping for the bigger house, the better car, the more possessions.  Buy this, spend on that.  After all, isn’t that what life is about?  Stuff?  I’m not sure you understand how disturbingly materialistic this society has become.  Or maybe its just me that has changed.  In Thailand I lived in a small bungalow where you could see light coming through the cracks in the boards on the floor and the walls.  My toilet flushed by pouring a bucket of water into the bowl to wash everything down and my showers were cold because I had no hot water.  I had no television nor stereo and the electricity was weak, cutting out regularly.  But, the more things I got rid of, the more I realized how little I needed to be perfectly happy.  Creature comforts are nice, I love having a computer for music, entertainment, writing and sharing, but in the end I didn’t need it.  Having it didn’t make me any happier, it was just convenient.

It was to the point that I didn’t even realize just how austere I was living until I returned home and putting on tennis shoes felt like a new experience.  Consistent electricity and hot water feels like utter luxury.  But I can’t stand watching television anymore.  A friend of mine tried to show me a program called America’s Best Dance Crew and when one of the judges opened her mouth it felt like my braincells were euthanizing each other.  The “news” is depressing, biased and feels designed to make people afraid.  I feel very out of place here now and I don’t know how to readjust.

I don’t know if I can, but moreover… I don’t know if I want to.

-Tyler

“There is a war going on for your mind
if you are thinking you are winning
resistance is victory
defeat is impossible
your weapons are already in hand
reach within you
and find the means with which to gain your freedom
fight with tools
your fate and that of everyone you know depends on it.”